Between Thomas and Mourn, Session 2

After donning clothes provided by the queen, Thomas quietly picked his way throught he masses of peoople gathering around the tree of Ygg to see the spectacle.

Mourn stood near a small crowd, orbiting outside the mass of bodies, still being able to passively observe their focus. A play was being performed of the creation of the new godless universe, where the gods were killed and then devoured by their children. Apparently it was the final performance for this troupe, since they were getting quite getting into the act and slaughtering the actors. They even had a decapitated horse, which they used its parts for various demonstrations of violence and deviancy performed by the gestalt child demigod.

"Quite the preview of things to come." Thomas mused, sliding next to Mourn to have a view of the events playing out.

Mourn turned to look at her brother, then looked back at the debacle. "It would be unfortunate if it were so." A pause as she obviously thinks about parameters to her next words. "How are you?" There's a thread in her voice that Thomas has never heard before. Something ... worried. Mourn never worries.

Thomas paused on the answer. He continued to face the actors, not sure if he wanted to be up front with his answers. A part of him relented, assuming Mourn would likely be able to glean the truth of his answers from his words -- or his mind. The unspoken truth of it was that there was no point of deception between them. As far as Thomas knew...

"I'm angry." He shrugged, accepting it. "I don't appreciate being accused of crimes I'm not guilty of, just as much as the next criminal. And," he said with some hesitation, "it led to some unforeseen events."

"She ... hurt you. And in doing so, sowed the seeds to being hurt herself." Mourn turns again to look at Thomas. "Gizette's lack of faith ... it is not about you, Thomas. It is about her own fears. Fearful people do selfish things, stupid things. Your anger is the reflection of your hurt."

"It seems that there are many people that are fearful... I do tend to leave those around me with a unsatisfactory impression." Thomas furrows his brow slightly. "It was... careless of me to let her actions affect me the way they did. It must be the pressure of recent events." He wiped his eyes, pushing away bits of stress.

Tomas looked finally to Mourn, his smile appearing, but it's tired and fades away.

"Gizette has always been open and kind, however Bleys is an individual she holds sacred. I would not be surprised if there will be some sort of reaction. At the very least, I am certain I'm to be accused of harm coming to her husband and that I am no longer welcome in her... home."

"For now, perhaps that is true. In time, if you and she care enough to work toward truth, toward reconciliation, then perhaps it will not always be true. The choice is yours." Mourn stated.

Thomas simply grunted to himself, but his thoughts were clear -- the damage was done and there would likely be no chance for salvage.

He looked back to the play. "I don't think our father should continue to reside there. I understand his concerns. However, his actions don't set a good precedent."

"You are right. Eric should not be there. But ... if not there, where should he be?" Mourn takes a long, slow, sad breath. "He is afraid, Thomas. He will return to Amber, if I take him there and stay by his side. He has said as much. But what then? Will he rule? He has no desire or ability to rule in such a time. Will he soothe the Court? He cannot even soothe himself. He ... my memories of him do not encompass this behavior; it is out of context, or my memories are." Looking at her brother she asks, "What ..." She stops herself, and makes a revision. "Where would you have him be?"

Thomas looks back, saddened. "I don't know. It's impractical for you to stand sentinel over him and..." Thomas looked down, then back to the actors, who were reaching the conclusion of the epic battle. "Gizette may be right. I may have done something to him to make him like this. Unknowingly. She can continue to be his nurse, though I know Eric has never been in her circle of preferential treatment -- and it concerns me the longer he stays there. If you can make other arrangements for him to stay somewhere else, that would be the best... I'm willing to accept his stay there temporarily."

"Thomas ... standing sentinel over Eric is my purpose." She has never said it quite so baldly before, or so sadly. "But what will he do in Amber, as Amber now stands?"

Thomas stayed silent to watch the last scene, where both gods had been slain and the gestalt beast gave praise and thanks to the great tree Sakura for allowing them to form into one mighty warrior of harmony. He found it touching, although there had been much less fornication in the battlefield they portrayed.

"Brand had Werewindle for hundreds of years. There's only three others like it ever made, and they're the most powerful weapons of Order ever designed, next to the horn itself I would fathom. It was a remarkable blade, made for a purpose. However, Brand wore it and never used it, he was a sorceror. It went to waste."

Thomas looked to Mourn. "Eric raised us both to believe we are extensions of his will, that we solely exist to act out his desires. I was a thrall of Benedict while Eric rotted in the dungeons, and every single day I plotted and hoped for an opportunity to rescue him."

"If I was to merely limit myself to what he wanted, I'd be useless to him. As a matter of fact, if I did solely what he asked of me, he'd be dead -- I would be as well. Hell, if we did what he really wanted, we'd be tucking him in at night and standing guard at his door, while the real threats to him and his kingdom ran wild and prepare to trample us without our knowing."

"My point is, tools are meant to be used, and used correctly. You have versatility. Use that, not only in what he says he wants, but what needs to be done which is best for him."

He sighs a bit, then looks back to the play. "Maybe he should stay with Gizette," Thomas said flatly, "which I don't like. But he feels safe. I guess I should take something from that."

"He is no safer there than he is at your Castle of Roses. Less safe, I believe. The difference is, he believes himself to be. But he believes himself to be many things." Mourn turns away from the players, way from the great tree, away from the brutal, violent crowds, away from it all. "Before I came to Amber, a priori input, subjective data all of it, showed Eric as one thing. Empirical data shows him to be something else. I am a tool, Thomas, wielded by someone who will waste me ... and I will break apart with the knowledge of it." Her words grow heavy and distinct with rising panic. "I do not know how to be of use if I am not used by Eric. I do not know what to do in the face of all this." Sweeping her arm in a broad arch, her gesture circumnavigates the ever increasing mob. "Had I any ideas, any sudden synthesis of neurons, I would take action ... but, like Eric, I no longer know what to do."

Thomas thinks over Mourn's words, her distress on the matter. He starts quietly and calmly, "You will not break. I have a distinct impression Eric made you of stronger stuff than to fall under these circumstances, albeit unusual and extreme. If he had the ability to, I'm certain he would be impressed with what you have done given these events."

"As far as what to do... there's a short and long answer to that. We're doing what we can do at this time. We're watching and waiting." Thomas nodded to the arrival of the Pattern god, energy rippling in its path. "Something is going to happen here, and we don't know what the result is going to be. I'm not entirely convinced it's going to be bad."

"The long answer is... well, larger. Some people lose what they need to do, much like father. Some people spend their entire life trying to figure that out, and are never able to." Thomas shifts a bit. "I would never say this in front of anyone else, but there has been more than once that I didn't know what to do. However, I've found that the opportunities and circumstances merely need to change for something to present itself as a course of action. I believe that given the correct change, it will come to you."

"I know that's not an adequate answer for your current needs. I could tell you what to do, order you like how father would. I don't find it productive or desirable. If that were truly what I sought..." Thomas quiets down, realizing he may have said more than he needed to.

Thomas' last words make her smile, even if only a little. "We both could do considerable ... um, influencing on the other, if it were our desire. I suppose, at this juncture there is nothing to do but wait and see. I do not know what will occur, or if the outcome will be beneficial or a catastrophe of epic proportions. All I know is that things will be different." After a pause, she asks, "Are you going to clean up the Castle so others can come and not immediately fall under the sway of your intentions? I would like to come home, even if it is without our father."

Thomas nodded. "It may take me some time. It seems to have gained a life of its own. I can't say if the intentions are entirely my own, or merely some expression that delves deeper." Thomas quieted for a moment, thinking over the castle. "But it does need to revert to a safe place..."

"I would rather not have House Candent be the only 'sanctuary' for our family." She gestures to the approaching gods, then links her arm through her brother's. "Especially since there is no longer safety in what we once were. Let me know if there is anything I may do to assist."

They stand together, apart from the performances of those gathered, watching the confluence of deity and worshipers; watching until the window for doing closes entirely and Reality is changed beyond knowing.

-- AndiBlija - 06 Jun 2008